March: A Tale of Salmon and Swedes (The Glothic Tales Book 4) Page 8

  ‘And there has been no attempt since to gain control there?’ March asked.

  ‘No, as in fact it has all worked out rather well, because of the fact that they see themselves as the exception in the world, as if they live on another planet, and this has encouraged them to feel maligned, or at least disliked, and therefore they have the motivation to fight for what they believe is rightfully theirs. A nice myth, but they really have no idea what it is that is supposed to be rightfully theirs, except power perhaps, which in not a new motivation. While they have no knowledge or memory of their Erdean heritage, they, as a population, all carry the destructive gene, which as we know, is what eventually destroyed Erde. But we have taken advantage of their genetic disposition, and their increasingly benign ignorance of what is beyond the two vast oceans that isolate their population, and allowed their government, within reason of course, to go about starting conflicts and wars, in places around the world that they have no understanding about whatsoever, to help us increase our wealth and power.’

  ‘By encouraging the rapid movement of wealth, back and forth, and thus increasing in value at each turn,’ Trys added.

  ‘Yes. However, due to our inability to export our products, to pay for imports of more modern and more expensive military materials and technology from Gloth, we have not been able to fully exploit their warmongering potential, as we would wish. Ideally, we, that is, the Camera Stellata, would like to have access to advanced military technology that for one, we could sell to America, and two, buy even more advanced technology for us to keep them under control, if and when the need arises. There is a market, but we cannot exploit the fat pig if we cannot get it to market.’

  ‘We come back around to entry ports again,’ March said.

  ‘Yes,’ Prescott-Jones said, before emptying his sherry in one defeated mouthful, and then refilling all three glasses.

  ‘So what about your exports? If it were possible, in what quantities could you supply for example, salmon, caviar and oysters? All are very popular here, so I would imagine that the quantities may be limited.’ March asked.

  ‘That would be no problem at all. It would only take a little media exposure, or perhaps more pointedly, propaganda, to convince consumers here of deadly health risks or some other such story, to decimate the local market, which would naturally drive down demand and the primary producers’ prices. No problem at all then in supplying in almost infinite quantity to Gloth. Apart from the logistics of transport though, the other major hurdle in our path is that we are not members of the EdErg exchange, therefore we would have to trade in precious metals, which are awfully awkward to transport as well. A number of catch-twenty-twos, if you understand what I mean by this expression.’

  ‘I understand, yes. These are matters that are of great concern to my father, hence why I have come here. While I don’t have any answers as yet, I am hopeful that a way can be found to at least improve the situation. From my own experience in getting here, I know only too well of the difficulties, and impracticalities. Look, I don’t want to waste your time, but could you perhaps give me a little more background on the Camera Stellata, such as how it functions, and how its members are selected.’

  ‘Yes, of course. As I said before, The Camera Stellata is officially based in Rome, but our members, who number twelve, come from all parts of the British Isles and Eurasian continent. In most part, members are not selected, but appointed by being the heir to their fathers. This has maintained a continuity of thought and belief over centuries. On the rare occasions that there is no heir, or where one is deemed unsuitable, a new member is elected by the remaining eleven members. This has only happened three times to my knowledge. Our president is always the longest serving member, and holds the position for life. There are only three executive positions. President, vice-president and treasurer, and these are the only three members who are privy to the knowledge of the existence, and connection we have to Gloth, the Grand Council and the Supreme Potentate, and are sworn to secrecy. While we have never had to do so, any failure to abide by this oath is punishable by death.’

  ‘And apart from yourself, who are the other two office holders?’

  ‘Our treasurer is gentleman from China, who owns a worldwide conglomerate of diverse companies, including manufacturing, banking, agricultural production and media. Our president is an elderly member of the Spanish royal family.’

  ‘And of the other members, I gather none are American.’

  ‘That has always been, and always will be the case, Mr. Gregorian. The Camera Stellata is of, and for, those of Glothic royal blood, as only from our superior linage comes the true virtues of honour, civility and wisdom. We will never allow those, who are in totality of the ignominious Erdean ape gene, or worse, of mixed genetics, in our midst. We know that those of us of the royal Glothic bloodline carry extremely small remnants of this hated gene, but we regard ourselves now, after thousands of years of strict division from the lower Erdean classes, as almost, or as near as possible, to pure Glothian. Of this we have no doubt.

  ‘Thank you, Mr. Prescott-Jones; I think I have a very clear understanding of the situation now. I assure you that I will do my utmost to assist you, and the Camera Stellata, in improving both trade and ties between Earth and Gloth. However, I am sure you understand that the force field must remain, no matter how inconvenient and restrictive it is, as there can never be a repeat of the damage caused to the Twelve Sun Systems by the Erdean gene, as happened after the disaster of Pope Gregory’s reign as Supreme Potentate.’

  ‘Yes, I know this matter is absolutely non-negotiable, as Madam Gregorian has already pointed out to the Camera Stellata on a number of occasions. Our only goal is to work towards achieving an upgrade and modernisation of the force field, which would then permit the installation of North and South Pole entry ports, large enough to facilitate the safe and reliable entry and exit of transport craft up to a carrying capacity of between two to five thousand tonnes.’

  ‘Then, Mr. Prescott-Jones, I believe we are in total agreement,’ March stated, and then emptied his sherry in one mouthful. ‘Thank you very much for taking the time to meet with us.’

  Prescott-Jones took that as March’s belief that their meeting was now concluded, so stood to shake hands with March and Tryskolia.

  *****

  In the taxi on the final leg of their complicated journey back home, Trys said, ‘you surprised me this evening. Your manners, maturity, personality, tact and diplomacy were impeccable. I can’t believe you are the same young man I had to fish out of the police station.’

  ‘There is a saying on Gloth that for all male Gregorian royals, maturity and wisdom normally arrive very late in life; if ever at all. However, for a very few, it can arrive in extremely short episodic bouts, before quickly departing once again.’

  ‘So when does yours depart?’

  ‘Very soon I would imagine.’

  ‘Somehow I doubt that.’

  ‘He didn’t seem to like Americans very much, did he?’

  ‘Oh, that’s because he’s an Englishman, and like all the English, they believe they are infinitely superior to any other nationality on the planet. They believe they have the right to rule.’

  ‘And do they?’

  ‘There is no such right, but that doesn’t stop them from trying.’

  ‘So what do the other countries and nationalities think about this superior right to rule attitude?’

  ‘Ha, they usually just smile, and then ignore them.’

  ‘This is a very complicated little planet, isn’t it?’

  ‘It is. And I haven’t told you anything about the French, Italians or Germans yet.’

  Fools’ Glory

  Contrary to beliefs on other planets, being a fool, and especially a young royal male fool on Gloth carries a great deal of honour and prestige. Over countless generations the story of one of the most revered Supreme Potentates of Gloth of all time; February The Fifth, has been read by or told, over and o
ver again to every child on Gloth. His heroic deeds as a young fool who was to become king, in fighting a long, yet successful battle against overwhelming odds across much of the Twelve Sun Systems, opposing those who had killed his father and abducted his two elder brothers in an attempt to steal the Glothic throne, is legendary.

  That February the Fifth, once returned to his rightful place after his victory, and then went on to become one of the longest serving and wisest of all Supreme Potentates in the entire history of Gloth, it became irrefutable proof that there was not only no stigma to be attached to being a young fool; there was indeed pride to be had in the knowledge that it was only from a fool’s wealth of mistakes, ergo experience, that wisdom would flourish.

  Having said that however, there were a certain number of young men throughout history within Glothic royalty, who surpassed the broad measure of being a fool by quite a distance, and were indeed certifiably insane. These instances were quickly dealt with and swept under the carpet, or at least locked up – or more often than not, transported to a distant habitable asteroid or remote moon, where they were given menial work to occupy the rest of their living days.

  In March’s case, the task given to him by his father, to find a way for Earth to increase Glothic wealth, was not transportation to a remote moon or asteroid, so one could assume that his father, February the Twenty-Ninth, had in mind that March was of the preferable type of young fool, and that he would hopefully put his young foolishness to good use while on Earth, and prosper later in his life from the expected mistake ridden experience he would gain there.

  As heir, March had much to do yet to fill his father’s shoes, but it must be assumed that February the Twenty-Ninth was preparing his son for greater duty, and perhaps even showing a little of the wisdom of his namesake, February the Fifth.

  As the taxi slowly approached Tryskolia’s building, she thought back to her mother reading her the story of February The Fifth, and then later, when she could read herself, of reading the story over and over again and marvelling at not only the heroics and bravery of February, but also of the loyalty of his two companions, Stringley and Snurd Humped, along with the determination of his three elder sisters, April, May and June to help find the Cavern of Clavius on Terranova Two.

  When she let her mind wander back, she recalled February and Stringley’s addiction to backgammon, playing even when danger lurked. Perhaps March’s mild obsession with Abba wasn’t so strange after all. She turned to look at March, who was busy looking the other way at a group of punks on the other side of the road, and decided that he reminded her of February – but only a little.

  ‘Remarkable,’ March muttered.

  ‘What is?’

  ‘At last, some people who look quite normal.’

  ‘Those young punks, you mean?’ Trys asked, pointing to them.

  ‘Punks? Yes, them, but why are they called such a silly name?’

  ‘Sorry, March. I have no idea at all.’

  ‘Well, that presents a nice little bit of research for me to do.’

  ‘A change from salmon and oysters.’

  ‘And Abba.’

  ‘Um, yes,’ March said, sheepishly, as the taxi pulled to a halt in front of their building.

  ‘Eleven quid, thanks luv,’ the taxi driver said.

  Dirty Power

  ‘My Q’muniktor and centre coil copy of THE don’t regenerate very quickly here.’

  ‘No they don’t. I have the same problem with my Q’muniktor, so I use it sparingly,’ Trys replied, as they shared toast and Scottish marmalade for breakfast.

  ‘But electromagnetic energy is in abundance everywhere in the Universe, so why is there so little of it here?’

  ‘It’s because of …..’

  ‘The force field?’ March interrupted.

  ‘Yes, it deflects a lot of energy, and that’s why there are so many cables all over the place. Even with some rapid progress over the last century or so, Earth technology is prehistoric by Gloth standards. They are still burning fossil fuels and using nuclear energy to create electricity, and weapons of course, but once produced, the electricity can’t be stored, so it is shot down cables all over the planet, hoping that it will be consumed as fast as it’s produced. It’s highly inefficient and wasteful, and worse, because they can’t store it, more and more products are designed and manufactured to use up the supply. Then there is the problem of carbon floating up into the atmosphere from all the burnt fossil fuels and being trapped beneath the force field. They don’t know it’s there of course, so they have no idea at all that they are slowly poisoning the whole planet. The carbon layer is another reason your Q’muniktor regenerates so slowly, as it further reduces the amount of electromagnetic energy that can make its way down to here.’

  ‘And producing nuclear energy and weaponry is akin to giving one’s planet a death sentence. I don’t suppose anyone on Earth knows how Erde finally destroyed itself.’

  ‘Probably only a few in the Camera Stellata,’ Trys replied.

  March munched on his toast, and took a pensive moment to digest the information. Trys let him be, but she was thinking to herself that the whole Erdean project had been a disaster from day one, when the Hybridised Uniform Manipulation And Naturalisation project was first implemented on Erde, as a means to develop profitability from a planet populated only at the time, by a variety of primate species. It became known as HUMAN, as an easy acronym, but it was still a genetic experiment that went awfully wrong, because the introduced Glothic gene failed to develop as fully as the researchers at the time had anticipated, and instead, the genes of the various breeds of primate remained dominant. While the Glothic gene did result in bringing intelligence, language and ingenuity to the primates on Erde, their dominant genes meant that instead of the planned homogeneous population developing, each breed of primate remained stubbornly different. This resulted in forming localised tribal populations, which ended up speaking hundreds of different languages, were of different colours and face shapes and of course, rather naturally, all decided to hate each other quite passionately.

  Then when each Glothic Oversight Detachment, or GOD was sent to monitor the project, the genetically modified beings on Erde misunderstood completely and started to worship every Glothic Oversight Detachment that arrived, and in the process aided in the development of religion on Erde, which then sparked even more division and confusion, and of course, arguments, conflicts and in the end, all out and uncontrollable global war. Twice.

  With the second chance that Septimity gave the remaining Erdeans, who were fortunate enough to have been scattered around the Twelve Sun Systems at the time Erde self destructed, he would be disappointed now to know that even give the chance to start all over again, Erdeans had managed to make almost all the same mistakes, all over again – including global war. And again, twice – as if twice, once, was not enough.

  ‘It would seem that the etymology of the word punk is unknown. I checked last night.’

  ‘What, no Abba?’ Trys joked.

  ‘My THE ran out of power before I could get to them,’ March said, smiling with his mouth full of sticky marmalade and toast.

  ‘So, what are your plans for the day?’

  ‘I’ll have to wait for my Q’muniktor to regenerate, but I would like to make some calculations of the capacity of the current shuttles to transport salmon, and an estimated annual return on sales.’

  ‘You can use my iPad for that if you like.’

  ‘A what?’

  ‘Hold on, I’ll be back in a tick,’ she said, as she stood, grabbed her stick, and trotted off. When she returned, she sat back down and handed her white iPad to him. He looked at it for a moment, and tapped the dark screen. Nothing happened.

  ‘You have to press that button, there at the bottom.’

  He did, and the screen glowed, so he tapped again.’

  ‘You have to swipe the screen from left to right.’

  ‘Not very intuitive, is it?’ he said, as he
swiped and finally got it to work. ‘And awfully heavy.’

  ‘I’m sure you’ll manage to work out how to use it, and I don’t think your arms will drop off.’

  ‘Probably not. But thank you, I’m sure I’ll be able to do my calculations now.’

  ‘I’m sure you will. Now, if you are planning on a day of calculations and whatnot, that will allow me time to write a few urgent letters and hopefully, have them ready in time to make it to the Post Office.’

  ‘Letters? Like in paper and quill? I’ve read about them.’

  ‘No quill, but still yes, hand written in ink on paper. It is still viewed as a sign of respect here to write a letter to important people. I need to thank Mr. Prescott-Jones for welcoming us yesterday evening, and I would also like to arrange for a visit to Rome for you. I know a cardinal or two there, so I am hoping we can be officially welcomed at the Vatican so you can see the replica of the Dodecahedron, which is buried deep in the bowels of the Vatican. It is not on public display of course, as it is a closely guarded secret that it even exists, so we would need the permission of the Pope to visit.’

  ‘The Dodecahedron that February the Fifth swore his oath of office upon? Blue, flashing and fabled to have given him the twelve virtues of office?’

  ‘Ah, so you have read the story or February the Fifth then.’

  ‘Oh yes, one thousand times.’

  ‘So, can you remember the twelve virtues a Supreme Potentate must possess?’

  ‘Let me think. Um, honesty, wisdom and, um, oh yes, loyalty, and um…’

  ‘I must have read the story more times than you. They were, benevolence, compassion, courage, discipline, faith, honesty, loyalty, mercy, patience, prudence, tolerance and wisdom,’ Trys recited, by heart.